Thursday, April 27, 2006

Time to go out there and Spork... But, first...

Greetings, Sporkists. The Time has come.

Well, sort of.

Now that you know where the movement and you as an individual stand, it is time for you to leave your computer and go out into the world, and start Sporking.
Firstly, the Three Prophets have decided to refom the Ten Commandments. We are going to be totally honest with you in saying that the original ten were merely spoofs of the Catholic ones. But we are going to have a Beefpie baking day to see what the Beefpie God truly desires. Expect the new ten to come up soon, the definitive and cemented version, so keep checking. It's going to take a lot for us to receive The Beefpie's true will.

After that, the creation of a Spork Society will be underway. You must go out there into the world and implement His will, the will of sensibility and peace. We'll get back to you soon.

Stay tuned.


Blogger Jauhara said...

I will let you do all that beefpie. You wanted me to update, so go take a look at Ichabod's doin's. He's one to contend with.

3:33 am  
Blogger Prophet said...

Wow. I just did. Perfect example of abusing the commendable philosophy of Christ in order to serve materialistic gain. This man's completely unbelievable. I can't believe I've never heard of Robert Tilton before. The best part of the story is when his second wife divorced him due to him slamming her against walls, hurling her down the stairs, and drinking himself into "blind rages", declaring he was the Pope, and then wake up at night screaming in pain, saying rats were eating his brain. Damn straight, that's what he deserves.

1:21 pm  
Blogger Singer Gazelle said...


commandments sort of

1., thou shalt not kill unless the lot of humankind would be improved by so doing


2., thou shalt not steal even if thou art a huge multi-National corporation


I'll go for some of that Sir.


1:05 pm  
Blogger Prophet said...

Killing can rarely be justified, especially for 'improving' human kind. Stalin, Hitler, and Pol Pot, at some point or the other, sincerely believed that what they were doing was helping humanity. Fundamentalists currently believe that wiping a majority of this planet off the face of the earth is justified too. Is it really? Spork is trying to find a way of improving humanity without having to resort to such a base, brutal, and horrific 'solution'.

9:23 pm  

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